Goodbye & Good Sex!

Well, I’m saying goodbye, but really I just mean goodbye for now.

After the sudden realisation that I have too many blogs on my hands, (links to the ones that are still active will come below!) I figured that I needed to put a stop to one of them, even if it’s just for a little while.

So, this was the chosen one, unfortunately.

Being newly single too, I wouldn’t find it necessarily hard to write about sex, but everyone has a recovery process in which they’d much rather not think about anything to do with relationships.

Anyway, you can still see my writing in the following places:

All Things Lesbian (click!) – A blog mainly for the LGBT community, but there’s often something for the straight world too.

Grey’s Gabble (click!) – I’ve recently been recruited to write for this somewhat famous blog regarding Grey’s Anatomy. You can find my posts on Fridays & Saturdays here.

Lezbelib (click!) – Even more recently, I was asked to write for this LGBT website. My topics include LGBT news and television, so head on down if you’re interested in any of these topics.

 

Well, there’s nothing left to say but goodbye.

I really have enjoyed writing this blog, but for various reasons, I’ve decided that this was the blog that must come to it’s end.

It may be back one day, but for now, have good sex and stay healthy!

How Much Sex Is Not Enough?

So the other day, my girlfriend pointed out that we don’t have sex as much as we used to.

Don’t get me wrong, we do it at least 3 times a week – usually more often.

But when you first begin a relationship, you’re in that ‘can’t keep your hands off each other phase’, and sex (for me, anyway) happens pretty much every day.

So I was wondering: how much sex is simply not enough?

I know for a fact that many married couples have sex once – sometimes even less than – a week. They obviously make that work for them though, because many couples stay together with little or no sex.

So what would you call ‘not enough’?

I mean, it varies from couple to couple: some love to have sex every day (a minority, I’m guessing) and some prefers to just fit it in when they can.

In my honest opinion, I believe it depends on the couple in question and the personality traits of each half of a partnership.

To me, the amount of sex I have with my girlfriend is a good amount, and I’m pretty sure she agrees.

But what do you think? Do you wish you had more, or maybe even less, sex?

Does sex feel like a chore to you or a pleasure?

Comment below and tell me your thoughts.

Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got Chronic PMS.

You all know the whole ‘not tonight, I’ve got a headache’ excuse, right?

Well, 85% of the time, that bitch is lying.

So, if you’re certain she isn’t making it up to get out of your bad, bad sex techniques, here’s what to do.

1) Lay off sex for about 3 days. Then, when she’s (or he’s) least expecting it, pounce on her. It can be anywhere you like. Which leads to my next point…

2) Pick a random place to do it. The last thing she (or he, JEEZ) is gonna expect is you to make a pass at her under a railway bridge. Or in the middle of a nightclub. Or in your Aunt’s house… Anyway, a wild location is often a turn on, so get your imagination in gear.

3) Act like you don’t want sex. Let’s try some reverse psychology here. Surely if your girlfriend (or boyfriend, I get it!) doesn’t want sex and then you act like you don’t need it she’ll eventually give in. She’ll wonder why you don’t want her and force herself onto you. Perfect.

4) Buy her a new ‘toy’. Oh come on, I don’t need to explain the innuendo. You know what kind of toy I’m talking about. Try something you know she’s never tried before. If you need some good websites to help you along with this point, comment below and I’ll do my best to point you in the right direction.

5) Do it the old way. Romance her into it. Treat her like a princess (/prince, yeah yeah yeah) and you’re likely to get something in return. Hint: a new pair of SHOES or a nice piece of JEWELLERY would be a start…

So there you have it, just a few tips.

And what’s more, these tips come from a woman.

So guys, try them out, but don’t be too obvious. Subtlety is key.

Can You Hear Something, Mildred?

Ever been in that situation where you simply CANNOT be noisy during sex?

Maybe your parents were in the house or you had guests and didn’t want them to think you were a dirty whore.

Well this week, it happened to me. *queue mysterious, creepy music*

As I am at my parent’s for a couple of weeks and my girlfriend is visiting, our only option was to either have quiet sex or to have no sex at all.

So, quiet sex it was.

Come on, you know I love my sex, (hence this mother frickin’ blog!) so it really was the only thing we could do.

Now, I’m not saying it was the easiest thing in the world, but my God it was exciting.

I mean, I’ve had sex in previous relationships in my parents’ house, but for some unknown reason, I’ve been known to be notoriously loud with my current girlfriend.

It involved a lot of biting of my own skin to shut myself the hell up, resulting in bruises. You know, the usual…

But it was definitely worth it.

In my opinion, you should take a risk with the location of your next sexual encounter.

You won’t regret it.

Unless you get caught.

Let’s Embark On Some Rough Trade

Let’s talk about urges.

I don’t mean the kind where you’re in a crowded supermarket and have the urge to belt out your favourite Broadway tune. I’m talking sexual urges.

Everyone gets that urge for sex in general, when they get so turned on or horny (often by something they read or see on TV) that they have the urge to have sex with the nearest person.

The type of sex I specifically want to talk about is the urge for rough sex.

Sometimes, I just can’t help but ask for it ‘harder’ or to pull my partner’s hair when she goes down on me. That’s normal, right?

Absolutely.

I’m not exactly sure why I sometimes need it rougher, but I can’t actually control myself when I do. This problem regularly leads to me biting my own skin around my wrist area, leaving large, red lines that resemble the shape of my teeth.

So what is it that creates this urge?

Maybe, for some, it’s that their partner just isn’t satisfying them. Maybe they’re doing something they don’t want or maybe they want them to focus on a different area of their body.

I for one sometimes get agitated when my nipples are played with or sucked. Sure, it feels nice, but it’s just sometimes not what I want at that particular moment.

Maybe it’s that the person having sex hasn’t had sex for such a long time that their urges are, well, urgent, and they need a quick fix for their needs.

Anyway, whatever it is, it can definitely be hot on the odd occasion.

So if you ever have that ‘urge’, make sure you act on it. Your partner will definitely think it’s hot.

I’m not kidding.

Pubic Hair: Yay or Nay?

Okay, okay, hold on a second. I understand that many people (mainly straight men) think pubic hair is gross.

Then there is the whole double standards thing when straight men think “OH MY GOD BITCH, shave that thing… but it’s okay if I keep mine”.

But is pubic hair really that bad?

Let’s discuss some pros and cons.

Pros (in favour of shaving):

• It makes all genitals look more clean cut. No one likes 3 or 4 stray hairs. Ever.
• No hair means nothing gets in the way. I mean, the worst thing ever is when you’re giving or receiving head and they have to pull a pubic hair out of their mouth. Not attractive.
• Apart from looking clean cut, it makes genitals more clean. Who knows what could be crawling about in that bush of yours?

Cons (against shaving):

• 2 words: shaving rash. Why on earth do we, especially women, put ourselves through shaving our pubic hair when we get an unsightly rash in the last place you want it? Obviously this argument is invalid when it comes to waxing.
• Many people think pubic hair actually enhances their sexual experience. You know, friction and all that jazz.
• When it grows back, hair can be super sharp. You know, when you have vagina/penis stubble? Not nice, if you know what I mean.*
• This point for me is why I would rather a girl simply trim their hair to keep it in shape: Simply put, if you are completely bald in your nether regions, you end up looking like a little girl. (Or guy. Although I’m sure it’s different for a shaved penis/balls). That is clearly never EVER good. Paedophilia? Not my thing.

So what do you think? Should people shave, or not shave?

*This point was thought up by my cousin, Christopher, who would like to point out that he “doesn’t like a bush”.

“Quick, Mabel, they’ll see us!”

How do you feel about sex around others?

Is it hot? It is weird?

I’m not gonna lie, I have had sex while there have been other people in the room.

Those people have always been asleep, however, so I believe it is not so bad.

I’ve never been caught and I’ve never woken anyone up, but I can’t decide whether or not it’s normal or even ethical to have sex in the same room as other people unless they consent to it. I.e. if you were participating in swinging or an orgy.

Personally, I find it quite hot, but I still feel a little guilty doing it…

With my current girlfriend, we usually refrain from having sex in the same room as our friends. Although one time, we did participate in sexual contact in the middle of a nightclub… Umm…

So what do you think? Is it normal or is it really weird?

I think on paper, it’s kinda weird. But when you actually do it, it’s kind of exciting.

Vote below and let me know what you think.

I Want You To Be My Favourite Toy

If you’re not a lesbian, chances are you’ve never used a strap-on dildo. Well, unless you’re like my friend, Rashida, who enjoys giving it to boys.

Anyway, this week my girlfriend and I finally had ours delivered. We named he/she ‘Ashley’, as we thought it would be suitable to give it a name that could apply to either gender. I mean, she sure LOOKS like a boy, but because we’re both gay, we don’t want to think about a real boy being inside either of us.

Therefore, our strap-on is transgendered.

But did we enjoy this new addition?

Well, as a gold star myself, I wasn’t sure whether I’d enjoy the new toy or not. My girlfriend didn’t think she’d enjoy the toy, as although she’s not a gold star, she did not enjoy the real thing, so why would she enjoy the smoother, faker version?

Anyway, loading Ashley up with plenty of lube, we went ahead and used the toy. I actually found it quite pleasant. I’m not sure I should use the word ‘pleasant’ when describing penetration, but that’s what I thought of it.

I didn’t love it, I didn’t hate it, but it did feel remotely pleasurable.

However, I could not achieve an orgasm when it was used on me and had to revert to some good old fashioned lesbian sex after a good solid 15 minutes. (8 minutes more than the average real erection, I’ll have you know.)

Again, I didn’t love it – probably why I’m not straight in the first place. And it also made me realize: I feel so sorry for straight women.

They obviously like the feel of the penis and the sight of a male body, but do any straight ladies actually achieve an orgasm with something that lasts around 7 minutes and basically feels like he’s poking you?

Poor, poor heteros.

Is That A Periscope In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Happy 2011, sex kittens! We’re baaaaack!

Anyways, I’m gonna get started right off the bat and ask you the question: Is sex better with your partner when you haven’t seen them in a few days? Or a few weeks. Or you know, years if you live long distance.

It sounds like no time at all, but last week I spent 5 days apart from my girlfriend, which meant 5 days without sex. Well, it means that way if you’re not a compulsive cheater. Which I am not.

But when I got back home, we couldn’t wait to tear each others clothes off and do what we do best – get our sex on.

Of course, we weren’t complete animals – we went out for sushi and a spot of light shopping before we did said activities, but once we returned to our bedroom, there was no stopping us.

I always think that sex with my girlfriend is amazing anyway, but because we hadn’t seen each other in so long (ha! it was only 5 days but still…), it felt so much more amazing.

All this simply because we hadn’t seen each other in a while? Or had my girlfriend just magically got better by the time I came back? (And I’m telling you now, it’d be hard for her to get any better than she already is in the bedroom department.)

Tell me your tales, because I need answers, kids.

Darlin’ It’s Better Down Where It’s Wetter

You know the old saying: “mmm. Sex in shower gooood. Water fuuun.”

You know that saying, right? It dates back from cavemen. Hence the lack of syntax and grammar within those sentences.

Well, I decided to test out that theory this week.

Well, I didn’t decide to, it just sort of happened when my girlfriend had the idea that standing in the shower naked with me was a good idea.

Sounds odd, but we actually didn’t go in there for sexual purposes. I’m not even lying. But when we came out of the shower? We’d definitely been doing things for sexual purposes… (Insert winking emoticon here.)

So what was my verdict? Was sex in the shower all it’s cracked up to be or would I rather stick to the comfy warmth of the duvet?

VERDICT: SEX IN SHOWER IS SCRUMPTIOUS.

(I felt the need to get a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang reference in there. Sorry.)

Aside from the whole ‘you can get in deeper standing up’ situation, the fact that your partner has clear liquid trickling down their centre and their body pushing you into the wall of the shower gets you really hot.

There’s steam, condensation and a whole lotta sauciness in the shower.

Tips? Use bubbles. Just make sure you don’t kiss a soapy neck – doesn’t taste great. Also, if you’re feeling athletic, try and stand on one leg when your partner is inside you. It feels so good. Of course I wouldn’t recommend it if you think you’re gonna fall and break your face.

There you have it. The phenomenon is true.